I have decided that I will reblog this every time it comes across my dash because it makes me laugh until I think I’m going to puke.

22 Jul 10:06 am with 415,475 notes




what’s cooler than cool?

absolute zero

0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k 0k

19 Jul 20:38 pm with 32,501 notes
19 Jul 20:31 pm with 12,414 notes



18 Jul 23:50 pm with 5,864 notes


who the fuck is snapchatting in the serenghetti

18 Jul 23:46 pm with 290,857 notes


alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

16 Jul 22:39 pm with 22,636 notes


same, kid, same

15 Jul 23:17 pm with 56,450 notes


Ok you won a world cup but you still lost two world wars so chill

15 Jul 23:14 pm with 49,927 notes
15 Jul 00:32 am with 2,095 notes


i want to live somewhere cute and quiet with lots of flowers and good wi-fi

14 Jul 21:59 pm with 22,852 notes